Dreamcatcher
by Phoenyxx
Summary: [One shot. Shounen ai: Athrun x Kira] It is sometimes inexplicably hard to banish a dream that had haunted you through your abhorrent nightmares.


**Dreamcatcher**

**A/N: **I had the most fun writing this…

**Warning: Rated T for a very valid reason. This occurs after Gundam SEED.**

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Gundam SEED.

**TERMINOLOGY:**

**SHADOW** is the same as **REFLECTION**.

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Kira stared at the lonely golden frame. All was empty around him except for this tangible frame that floated in front of his vision. He tried to gaze through this impenetrable gloom but somehow his eyes would wander back onto the strange, rectangular doorway.

The golden frame.

Hesitantly, he reached forwards, his hand foraging through the onyx mist. An absolute coldness gripped his fingers and when he delicately touched the framework, a shudder rose and hissed through the doorway. He automatically shirked back but the hand that had so carelessly trailed the structure was latched on tightly. A fruitless struggle with the strange object it proved to be and when he gradually halted his actions, a loud, painful wail encompassed his senses; a horrible calm struck him as he knew it was his own voice carrying out the scream.

Without thinking, his other hand, his free hand, stretched towards the gaping hole that the frame surrounded. He felt the dark material in front of him. It was cool to his skin and smooth as the finest silk and when he stroked the black glass a few times, watching it shimmer mysteriously underneath his fingers, a startling glow blinded his vision.

He blinked, his free hand held back near his chest and he stared deeply at his own frightened reflection. He leant in closer, his face nearly touching the mirror, and his exotic eyes blinked back at him where the darkness was fastened onto his irises. His hand was shaking as the anxiety blossomed on his shadow's face that imitated his own and once again, he brought his hand towards the mirror. He grazed the frozen reflection with a thumb, studying his twin do the same, and when he pressed the appendage onto the glass, he felt the warmth of flesh against it. He started and looked wildly at his sneering shadow. The voice he didn't know he had echoed in his mind, _"What's going on?"_

His shadow smiled in a sickly sweet way, grabbing his hands with both of his. The reflection brought his face close to the mirror, and to his horror, he, himself, mimicked him. The mirrored figure spoke, while he willed frantically for his limbs to move away, "I am you."

He watched miserably as his hand was pressed against his shadow's heart and then his shadow brought back his hand and pressed it against his heart.

His reflection spoke again, "You are me."

The hand that was pressed against his heart was lifted by his shadow and was then placed on top of his reflection's heart once more.

He stared wide-eyed at himself as his reflection drew their faces close to the invisible glass barrier. He felt his head twist to one side and his cheek touch the sleek surface. The low whisper tickled his ear unpleasantly, "We are one and the same."

There was a light brush on his cheek before his reflection released him. He stumbled backwards, lifting his hands in front of his eyes and examined them before staring back at the golden frame that hung his reflection. Strangely, his mirrored image had his back towards him. He made his way back cautiously and to his amazement, the image inside the inky mirror warped and changed.

It changed and showed that fateful day in Orb.

He pressed his hands against the mirror, the fears of his shadow forgotten, and watched with baited breath. There was his reflection with his best friend and both of them were on separate sides of a wire fence. It was a perfect black and grey eidetic image.

He watched as Torii flew out of his friend's hands and landed gracefully onto the waiting hands of his mirrored image.

…He gripped the frozen water tightly beneath his fingertips…

He watched as they exchanged a few words with each other.

He traced the image of his friend…

He watched as the fence melted away.

He paused.

He watched as his shadow took out a gun.

His breath caught in his throat…

He watched as his best friend stared back in shock.

He slammed a single fist against the barrier.

He watched as his shadow turn his head in his direction, mouthing, "You killed him."

…He shook his head in denial…

He watched helplessly as the gun fired and for a moment, he knew he was the one that pulled the trigger…and once upon a time, was also the one standing at his friend's place.

The resounding noise emitted shattered the glass into billions of infinitesimal pieces and he flew backwards, letting the crystal shards pierce through his skin, letting the blood flow from his body…letting everything that he had ever loved uniformly die.

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He tumbled out of bed reeling in shock, taking in deep breaths of air as he knelt on the ground with both his hands supporting him. He stared hard at the clenched hands, the beads of sweat dripping off his face, before lifting the shaking appendages to the level of his face.

"I…killed him."

He choked back a distressed sob, seeing red, hot liquid drip from his fingers. Crawling towards his drawers, he fumbled with them in the oppressing shadows of his room and searched through the papers.

"_Yes, you killed him."_ His reflection's cold voice melted through his frantic thoughts.

Frustrated, he pulled out the drawer and tossed out the contents. He muttered quietly, wiping his eyes, "I didn't-I didn't do it on purpose…"

He sifted through his possessions, his fingers leaving bloody prints on the piles of paper until he saw the single object he was looking for. His pure existence with a singular mind was dependent on the contents in the estranged bottle, and he knew but was too tired to care. He grappled with the lid, his guilt, fear, and remorse putting him on edge. He ignored the cries coming from the door and through the walls.

"_Destroyer!"_

The lid twisted apart and the drugs fell to the ground, scattering in every direction. He pounced and groped for two small pills in the mess he had created.

"Where-where are they?"

Tears were streaming down freely and when he found the pair of tablets that would give him release, he quickly shoved it down his throat and slumped onto his haunches. He rubbed his hands together, trying to remove the dried blood, and his sweat that mingled with the tears dripped down his face in unity.

"_Don't deny what you did…you killed innocent people…"_

His ears perked when a loud knock from his door echoed in his room. Panicking, he glanced for a way out, a place for escape from his reflection, and his eyes immediately rested on the balcony door.

"_You killed other peoples' loved ones."_

He pushed the glass doors open, dashing barefooted onto the stone-tiled floor, and moaned in distress, "I didn't want to! I never-I never ever-wanted to kill!"

Running his hand nervously through his hair, he looked down over the edge of the railings, readying himself to jump off. It took him only an instant to notice the wooden door, that allowed entry into his room, was forced open by someone. He quickly launched himself over the balcony railings and into the air. He briefly heard the cold evening air rush past his body and then felt the loose impact against the sand as he rolled down the beach when he landed.

Coming to a stop near the edge of the water, he spat out the intrusive grit in his mouth, and tried his best to wipe off the muddy mixture of sand and tears from his face. He hobbled back onto his feet soon after, looking back upwards from the place he fell from and saw a shadowed figure standing near the railings. Immediately, he turned around and ran and he didn't need to glance behind him to know that his reflection was chasing him. His stumbling dash across the beach was easy to identify for fatigue was restricting his stamina but the steady panting and yells he heard behind him was motivation enough to keep him running.

"Go away! Leave me alone…" He cried pleadingly, tossing his voice backwards, "I don't want to kill…"

But he received no response and only heard the continuous movement behind him that was breathing down his neck. He could feel the other's closeness and knew that he would be caught. He stared up silently at the papery white moon ahead of him nestled beyond the hill and continued his lope.

"_Stop running from your destiny…!"_

"No…no, no no!"

The hunter caught him from behind, pouncing onto his back, and tackled him towards the ground.

"Let me go!" He tried to kick free from the heavy mass that circled his waist, well aware the heaving breaths of air that his lungs were trying to obtain, but his organ couldn't expand to its fullest volume due to his shadow.

His tear-crusted eyes darted towards the hill again, just in time to see the silvery silhouette of the most familiar person. Gasping between each syllable, he spoke in surprise, "A-ath-thrun?"

The youth seemed to smile at the call of his name. He gazed at Athrun and tried to ignore the fluttering squeeze in his stomach. His hands began raking forwards across the sand as he tried to crawl towards his azure-haired friend. His reflection was struggling to hold him down and he wasn't able to abandon this burden onto the beach. Slowly, but surely, he was making progress and with each painful drag, he knew he was closing in on Athrun.

But he was wrong…

With each inch of coming closer to the boy, Athrun would taunt him and take a step back. A trail of blood, metallic in the dim light, was scored across the ground, made by his own hands. The weight on his back hadn't left yet and didn't seem to have any intention to either. The more he struggled against the shadow, the tighter he would grasp on.

As the image of his best friend flickered away as quickly as he had came, he blinked away the tears and tried to reach his fading figure, "No…don't leave me…Please, Athrun!"

He maneuvered himself to get up, his vision clouded with the image of crimson fluid decorated inexpertly on the ground. "I have to…reach him…I-" But despair gripped his heart and mind and he began searching with his eyes for Athrun.

"Athrun…" He swallowed down the bile that came erupting from his throat and he tried to sit up while his reflection clutched onto the skirts of his shirt tightly. "Why did you-? I need to…where are you? Don't go…please don't leave me here…I don't think I can-! Athrun…Athrun-"

His incoherent muttering was immediately paused when he felt a soft, tender caress on his cheek. He fixed his gaze on the hand around his waist that held him still against the other vibrating body. He placed his own blood-soaked hand over the warm one touching his face.

He murmured quietly to himself without turning around, "I don't protect, I only kill…Maybe that's why Athrun left."

A gentle tracing from a thumb near his nose, and he sniffled silently, "Athrun doesn't want a killer…I don't want to be a killer…"

Another placid touch and the teardrop that was dancing down his face was fluently wiped away, "Why can't-why-? Why can't I stop killing?"

He hiccupped, his stomach unsettling, and he found himself spewing out everything he had that day, including the drugs. He coughed, his arms shaking when they were used to support his body. He bit back the terrible wracking sob that was echoing against his throat but soon felt the soothing rub on his back and slowly calmed down.

"Kira…" He was lifted carefully back into an upright position, his body still resting against the other, and a warm breath brushed against the side of his ear. "It was a dream. It was all just a dream."

"…dream…?" He moved his head, turning around, and brought his vacant stare onto his reflection. He rested his hands against the other's shoulders, smothering red onto the clothing. "…where is…Athrun?"

He was puzzled when he saw tears nuzzling down the reflection's face. The shadow responded, "I am here now…"

His hands gripped the shirt tighter, "Where's Athrun…? I don't…understand."

"Kira, look at me." He shook his head, trying to move farther away from the daring spark that appeared in his reflection's eyes.

The shadow gripped him on the shoulders and repeated the command, "Look at me."

His eyes faltered and he tried to refocus onto the sound. The melodic tones seemed to course through his numb brain as he tried to decipher the notes, "Athrun…" He looked at him, seeing the emerald eyes glimmering faintly in the light, and he reached and touched his brow, "Athrun. You're really…here…"

Athrun released a content sigh upon being recognized and circled him in a protective embrace, "I was always here."

He glanced up quickly, his eyes soaked with moisture and were searching imploringly, "But I killed you. You were gone and I-"

"It's alright, Kira," soothed the azure-haired youth. "You didn't kill me. We're still both alive. It was just a nightmare."

"But I-I can't just forget-! It was so real." He pressed tightly against the material of Athrun's shirt, trying to banish the images of the golden mirror. "It was so painful. It had hurt so much…"

"I know, I know…" Athrun gazed at him peacefully, visible droplets of water clinging onto his eyelashes. "Because I, too, experienced a time when I thought I nearly killed you."

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**End**

It's weird and I hope you all aren't too terribly confused. And to the two questions that would undoubtedly (well, probably) be in your mind right now…

**Yes, Kira is 'insane' and is definitely hallucinating.**

**Yes, Athrun is alive and is not a ghostly specter.**

Now all I wonder right now is if anyone saw the slight significance about the last line said by Athrun that was connected to several other points in the story.

Thank you for your valuable time readers.

Constructive criticism is definitely welcomed.

Spyrit


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